Styles of Parenting - What Happens If Your Child No Longer Trusts or Confides in You

There are different styles of parenting which influence your child's behaviour. Children no longer approach parents with their problems or confide in them about fears. And not just sensitive topics like sex and love but parents are also being kept away from growing up issues where parents were once considered their child's sole confidant.

This growing parent-child rife came to the fore through a recent survey conducted by International Institute for Population Sciences and Population Council.

According to the report, children were less communicative with parents and more likely to discuss problems and seek advice from friends. It is a common thread that experts notice.

Styles of parenting -I ; Bad Parenting:

A popular consultant psychotherapist and counsellor, says "Decrease in parent-child interaction time and increase in child-peer time evokes a sense of belonging between children and peers. Their dependance on
friends leads to detachment from parents whose time with children is often limited to negative interaction like complaining, nagging, demanding and reprimanding."

She added that bitter experience like parental disapproval, uncontrolled anger, lack of empathy towards their problems and fear of being judged and punished also barred children from opening up.

Another psychological counsellor Mr Gupta says, "Instead of being emphatic and reasoning, parent's way of correction is often coercive and authoritative. Parental disapproval is pushing children further away form parents."

Irreversible damage:

Experts caution that such secretiveness could be damaging in the long
run.

Three school boys aged between 10-12 years have a gala time eating ice-cream, clobbering each other with bricks and hurling abuse at one another while their pool car stands a few meters away waiting for
another school to give over. Asked if their parents know what they do, the three boys burst into laughter.

While these boyish traits might seem harmless now, they could escalate towards more serious time-pass activities under peer influence like experimenting with drugs, sex, gangs and crimes.

In absence of efficient parental guidance children learn sensitive topics about sex and relationship from media, internet and peer and could end up harming themselves, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Styles of parenting - II ; Pro-active parenting:

There is a strong need for parents to turn sensitive towards children's needs especially touchy topics like sex and relationships which according to the study were least discussed.

Children constantly seek answers and sometimes throw you into difficult positions when they ask about sex and reproduction. I feel proud my children trust me and come to me with their questions. It is important for children to know that you are there to address them and not to make them feel like preverts when they approach you."

Tips for Parents:

Here are some ways experts suggest that will build a child's trust in parents:

• Be available for your child.

• Provide solutions that are acceptable for both of you.

• Communicate disapproval subtly, with reason.

• Invite discussion upon sensitive topics without making them feel guilty.

• Allow children to give opinion and ask for suggestions

• Tell children how you spent your day and encourage them to speak about theirs.

Tips For Managing Stress In Children

Today's children are facing  many kinds of stress.  The stress in children is attributed to many reasons. Exam stress, parental expectations, peer competition, pressures attributed to driving school children overboard has become reason for concern amongst parents, doctors and school authorities.

Children have become so sensitive that they cannot take even the basic pressures, they give up.  It is not only studies pressure but any kind of competition, be it games or extra curricular activities. Today's children think that everything is so easy that they do not want to face problems and choose to run away.

Don’t Set Targets:

Panic amongst the parents has mounted. Some parents stopped setting targets for their children. Earlier parents used to set targets, if kids accomplished, they would give them a gift. Now parents started to give gifts though they do not fare well. In addition to parents trying to ease the pressure from their end, they should do much more than scrapping unrealistic targets.

Be There For Your Child:

  

The joint family culture cushioned these pressure in the past. As parent child communication runs thin due to lack of time spend together, it is a major reason for concern. Children are left on their own to pressure tackle, and not surprisingly crumble. In the absence of parents, children become isolated and introverts. Instead of communication their problems and venting their depression and frustrations, they keep it inside, until it takes a toll on their mental health, leading them to negative approaches and no solutions. There are a number of stressors. Be it competition which is at its peak, exposure to television or the internet. Children are more vulnerable and less secure. They need solutions but don’t get them.

Seek Expert Help:

With students suicide increasing manifolds and the final examinations including school-leaving examinations approaching, it's crucial that parents and educator come together to tackle this problem.

Parents need to be more sympathetic towards their children. Throw away the role model of the picture of the perfect child. This is skinning our children. Ask them what happened at school and read their diary.

Some Ways That Will Help To Reduce Stress in Children:

  

• Make yourself available to guide and listen to children to help them find a way our of pressure situations.

•  Do not compare or rate children. Value them according to their strengths and set targets according   their abilities. Praise them not only for their achievements, but also for their efforts.

•  Do not always measure success in academic accomplishments. Children have many talents, recognize them.

•  If a child shows sings of depression like stays alone, does not go out to play and lack of interest in things they earlier enjoyed, immediately seek a counselor’s help.

•  Lastly, never take suicide threats lightly and concentrate on reducing stress in children.

Facts About Single Parenting - The Difficulties Of Being A Single Mother

The facts about single parenting are daunting, involving multitasking at various levels. A large chunk of responsibilities, from waking up children to sending them to school, checking their homework, giving them food, their clothes, and their emotional well-being lies with the mother.

A father is basically the provider. But, when you are a single mother, you also play the additional role of a provider. So, it is definitely tougher for single mothers than single fathers, since the man has finances sorted out with stable monthly earnings in place, and he has already gone through parenting, whereas a single mom may have to start afresh as far as earning goes, which can be quite traumatic and frightening.

If you don't take any alimony from your ex-husband because of the lengthy procedure and hence it would be quite challenging for you to start looking at fresh assignments and get finances in place. So, besides your own career path, the other challenges are to build a strong emotional foundation for the children, juggling and playing out all responsibilities in running the home, resolving stressful situations, spreading happiness, and presenting the issue of divorce to them in a positive manner. Maintaining a great relationship and being friends with your ex-husband is very important for the emotional stability of the children. Though you are separated, you should never run down or speak ill about each other. These are the important facts about single parenting,  you should keep in mind to lead your life peacefully.

A stigma is still attached to divorced women and you need a lot of courage, conviction and strength to deal with it. It is less difficult for a single father to re-settle as compared to single mothers. As a woman grows older, she puts her personal emotional crisis on a back-burner. Then you reach a stage when it becomes unnecessary to have someone in your life as you are so occupied with your children. However, both single moms as well as single dads have to be more responsible and cannot decide randomly as to who they would be sharing their personal space with since that person will also be part of their kid’s personal space.

Fortunately, if you have a good job and  your working hours are flexible which gives you lot of time for your children. The type of job you do is more important in the world for single parenting. It allows you to choose your work as well as the timings. You should also try to involve your kids in your work. For instance, after 2 or 3 week of work, your should take your children for a  holiday. These are the facts about single parenting you should remember to efficiently manage your parenthood being a single mother.

Parenting Teenagers - Precautions For Teenagers Chatting Online

Parenting Teenagers has become a tough task for today's parents. If your teenager is one of those who loves chatting and making friends online, there are few things that you need to be careful about in these days of cyber crime. With hacking becoming a rampant problem, your children past chats can reveal a lot of your personal details. To ensure that your children do not fall into any such trap, ask your teenger to keep the following points in mind.

Never reveal your financial details: You could be chatting online about money matters, but ensure that you never reveal any money related details. Be it your account number or credit/debit card number, do not reveal these things over chat. Don’t add just about anyone to your chatlist: Do not add people to your chat list to have a long list of ‘friends’. Know the person a bit before adding him/her to your chat list.

Be careful when in chat rooms: Chat rooms are a good place to interact with people, but understand that there are strangers lurking, so be attentive about what you are saying.

Be polite, but not over-friendly: If someone pings you, it is alright to answer them or chat with them, but don’t get over-friendly. Do not promise to meet them or be their best buddy. If someone suggests that you should meet during the first chat, blocking that person is perhaps a good idea.

Don’t use profanities: While gossiping online is very much in, don’t use profanities when in a chat room. Saying nasty things about other people in cyberspace is called ‘flaming’. You can be barred if you say things that the moderator doesn’t approve of.

Watch what you say: Some organisations get experts to keep a tab on their employees chats. Maybe it is a good idea to not gossip about office politics over chat. Keep it for conversations over coffee with friends at some cafe.

No expectations:  The basic rule of chatting is that do not expect anything if you are chatting with a stranger. You don’t know the person on the other end, so don’t expect him/her to be funny, witty or sensitive. The conversation might lead to a friendship or it may just end after the first chat. Don not be hurt if someone does not want to be your friend and ignores you or blocks you. Be open minded about these things when you get ready to log on.

Source: TOI

How To Avoid Parent Child Relationship Problems

Occasional child-parent arguments may be unavoidable, but they should not result parent child relationship problems.

It has never been easy to please parents, they have their own set of sky high expectations from their kids. Arguments are a part of any parent-child relationship. But how you manage it as a child is important. The following are the points that will help children to successfully handle child-parent relationshiip.

Discuss about the rules: There will be all kinds of rules — what is the time limit to come home, usage of phone, how much time the TV can be watched, rules restricting your meeting with friends or stay with friends, how frequently children can engage in parties, etc. There is not limit for this list. One of the best ways to stay away from arguments about rules is to discuss with your parents. Children should convincingly disscuss about these issues. They should not argue.

Once you agree to the rules:  Now that the rules have been set, ones that both of you have accepted, follow them. This is very important in case of deadlines as your parents will start to worry if you have not come back home at the stipulated  time. Also, it  may lead to doubt in their minds about your commitment towards your promises. If you think that you are going to be late, call up and intimate.

Communicate with parents: This is the important factor in solving most of the  arguments. But communication with them  is not just enough, children should try to allocate time for parents to enquire about day to day events and  convey that you care about them. This way of communicating with parents will stregthen your relationship and can do wonders for you. Thus you can avoid parent child relationship problems.

Dedicate some time to parents: Children may think that parents have time for everybody else except for you, but you have to think how much of time you are devoting to them? Spending time with your parents will give a chance to understand them in a better way, particularly in case you are asked not to do something or not given permission to come late, or a party.

You can argue in certain cases that you have justification. You cannot fight about each and every issue, it is just not worth the effort. When something you could not resolve with your parents, then take a deep breath for a minute to find out how important an issue it is for you. If you take the issue lightly, do that. But if you cannot ensure, you can argue out your issues calmly and not to get parent child relationship problems.

Why Physical Exercises For Children Is So Important?

Today’s parents ignore that playing is one of the best physical exercises for children and today's children dream of escaping the clutches of studies whenever their parents pressurizes them to work harder. 

Children are not aware that playing with friends is a way of relaxation. Some children prefer cycling and swimming. They don't have time to go out and play with their friends.

While commenting on this issue, teachers say that gone are the days of sports and games, children have no time to play, so physical exercises for children is an alternative to be healthy.

In today's children, eyesight problems are on the rise. Some parents are of the opinion that exercise solves most ailments and worried that lack of exercise may be responsible for eyesight problems in kids.

A senior consultant in general and pediatric optometry says, two common causes of myopia include lack of physical exercise, resulting in increased TV watching or playing computer games and pressure from parents resulted in lengthy study hours without any breaks.

Parents with no time to look after their children further deteriorate the situation. Many parents often switch on the television to keep their children busy as they don't want their kids to play or quarrel. Such a practice often leads kids to become television addicts and the eyes suffer from continued viewing.

However, parents agree that physical exercises for children is an important aspect of life but blame the intense competition in schools and claim that their children have no time to play. They are so busy with school, tuition and creative writing classes that they have no time to play. We cannot do much nowadays because the curriculum is so competitive.

Children blame peer pressure for their schedule. Their classmates always talk about getting good marks in exams. They want to do better than them when they sit for an exam and feel the need to keep on studying. Children say they are too tired to exercise as all of their energy is spent rushing from one tuition to another.

Experts believe that the way parents treat children plays a major role in this issue. Kids nowadays are mini adults, they are not kids anymore. When would they have time to play around as they are thrown into the rat race so early in life? Parents nowadays do not have sufficient time to invest in their children and hence want the kids to behave like miniature adults. They do not want the kids to play around as that would require more supervision says.

Another practice leading to poor health in children is fast food. Here, parents don not have the time to make a wholesome meal for kids rely on unhealthy foods. However unlike the United States and the United Kingdom, where kids feasting on fast food have numerous parks to play around, kids in some countries do not have that option. The numbers of play grounds is decreasing with each passing day. All these combined together leads to deteriorating physical health among children.  

Hence it is high time to realize that physical exercises for children through playing are must and parents should change their children's schedule accordingly.                 

Solution Strategies For Misbehavior In High School - The Need Of A Counselor

When a child is ill, he is taken to a doctor when he misbehaves or shows signs of being mentally disturbed, then why not refer him to a psychologist? But parents are not equipped to cope with their child's problem of misbehavior.  Parents grow up with the child and may often be encountering such problems for the first time. Besides they are emotionally involved with the child and may find it difficult to be objective they may either underestimate a problem or magnify it.

The cases of problematic children are generally brought to the notice of the counsellors mostly by teachers.  Problems encompass aggressive behavior, restlessness, lack of concentration, dislike for a particular subject, kleptomania, pinching, and stealing, and sleep walking.  While dealing, such cases were not treated in isolation and even the close relatives of the child were also spoken to.

Once there was a child in high school whose writing and speech were found to be disconnected and incoherent. The girl was obviously in need of counselling.  During play therapy the counsellor gave the girl a kitchen set and a doll family. The girl loved putting the pan on the fire and sometimes put the mother in the pan and got busy with other things. Gentle reminders to remove the mother from the pan were of no avail. This gave the counsellor a clue to the root of the girl’s problems.

So, the child's mother too was counselled and, within a year a marked improvement was noticed in the child's behaviour. Soon, the girl picked up typing and needle work and began participating in elocution.  She also won the leadership prize.

In another case of a boy, who could write but would not.  Talking to him and observing him at play, the counsellor found that the boy used those tactics to tease his mother and distract her attention from younger sibling. This case was also handled by a counsellor with the help of a psychiatrist and today the boy is an average performer.

In diagnosing and treating problem cases the counsellor use the standard techniques of drawing, coloring, sand therapy and story telling. In one of the schools in the corner of the play ground a sand pit. Counsellors make abundant use of this in diagnosing case as sand soothes the nerves, relaxes the child and makes it talk.

The counsellors believed implicitly in telling a child stories, as stories capture the child's imagination, draw him or her out and help to solve problems and take decisions.

Today with the growing tensions both parents and teachers face, a counsellor could help a disturbed to become a well adjusted individual or turn misbehavior into great behavior.

Healthy Nutritious Snack Foods Play A Great Roll In Keeping Children's Body In Shape

Have you ever bothered to reckon why children insist upon nibbling junk food? Have you ever tried to offer healthy nutritious snack foods to children. Well, you cannot escape from being the reason. You are first on to take them to the big-time snack parlours offering them the real conducive environment to develop these habits. Being endowed with the quality to ape children follow in your foot steps. The ambience and the eye catching packaging make them enjoy the snacks. At times, the food is stale but they are spellbound with the looks.

Children enjoy the presentation of food more than the taste. When it comes to home made food children show their repugnance for it, calling it bland. And when they used the word "bland" mothers cannot resist feeling bad. The next question that comes to their mind is how to convert this healthy so called bland food into tasty stuff. The answer lies in the jam that can be used in the adornment. Children love eating jams and when jam is used in all the snacks they enjoy food.

Although it is tough for the mothers to beat the market, but if they desire to give their children nutritious food, subordinate the other issued they win the race.

Snacks, which are children’s all time favourites, cannot be ignored by the mother for any reason. What mothers to do is jams stuffed rolls with a new look are ready to tickle the hunger of your child.

Healthy nutritious snack foods play a great roll in keeping children's body in shape. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare snacks with care. The market snacks are poor in nutrition and rich in fats and are prepared using lots of potato, cream and oil and no vegetable which can develop many deceases in children. Being a crucial part of children's diet it should be light as well as healthy.

It is usually seen that children have a habit of nibbling something every hour. And by keeping their demand in view mothers will have to prepare such a food which would not be too fatty.

It's a piece of cake for mothers to use jams in the snacks to make it more interesting.  Jam is not only nutritious but also enhances the taste of the food in which it is used.

Vegetables can be used to prepare nutritious snacks. Boil the seasonal vegetables with appropriate salt and chop them in beautiful shapes.

These boiled vegetables can be enhanced in looks by using some jam for garnishing.  Sprouted grams can also be used in place of boiled vegetables as they are rich in protein. Jam makes this dish delicious.

Children usually like to have soda water which is unhealthy. Milk can be made tastier by mixing jam in it. Which will make your drink healthy. Different fruits jam also changes the colour of the milk making it look delicious.

Mothers will have to keep their children's demand in mind which will help them prepare something delicious and healthy nutritious snack foods.

They can also invite their children's friends at home for a refreshment party as they usually like to party around. If the party is at home and friends like it children are on top of the world.

Once the friends appreciate the snack party mothers win the points and can take their children into confidence. This can slowly deter children from eating market snacks and enjoy healthy nutritious snack foods made at home.

Funny Parenting Tips For New Parents

Laughter possesses healing powers is well known, but it now appears that laughter can also help breast milk counter allergies that effect the skin of the little ones.

In a new study, breast feed baby with eczema experienced mild symptoms if their mothers laughed hours before feeding them.

"Breast feeding mothers are either a feature - length charlie chaplin movie or bland footage of whether information"  said research team leader Dr. Hajime Kimata a professor at the university of Osaka, Japan.

Professor Hajime took samples of  breast milk at regular intervals afterwards.  Two milk feeds later, he also measured their baby's allergic reactions to dust mites and latex.  Those infants whose mothers had laughed had markedly reduced reactions.

The researchers also found significantly higher levels of melatonin in the laughing mothers milk.  The hormone is associated with relaxation and is, hence, beneficial to the babies, too.

Importance Of Teenager's Relationship With Parents

These days, teenagers want to be independent and try to drift away from their parents and other family members. They don't know the importance of maintaining relationship with parents.  As they grow they resent any interference of their elders and feel that the parents and their relatives are more of a hindrance than a help. As bachelors they want to be at a distance from parents to avoid their checks and prying eyes.

After marriage they want to live separately as a nuclear family for privacy,  for the "welfare" of their children. Unfortunately their spouses encourage and even pester them to stay away from the family for some reason or other.

Due to new job opportunities,single and married youths have to move away from parents. But even when staying away,cordial relationship with parents can be maintained by giving them the feeling that you care and are concerned about them by your visits, phone calls, letters, attending family functions and requesting them to visit you and welcoming them at your place. Just thinking about yourself, your spouse and children while ignoring  parents and other family members will cut you off from the family lifeline which is very important for emotional support and happiness.

For sons, daughters the ties with parents is a lifeline for various reasons. Parents and elders of the family are the greatest well-wishers of their children. If at any time they show their anger or do not agree with your views or do not support you on your decisions, do not take it to heart or become cross with them. You may not realise it  today but most of the time, time will prove that they were right. They may not be as educated as their sons and daughters are today but parents have long experience with them and have gone through the ups and downs of life.

They have come accross a variety of people of different nature who were very good, good, so-so, bad and very bad.  Their knowledge of human nature is unsurpassable.

You never know when you will be ditched by your lover or by your husband or wife or duped by your friends or happen to fall ill or get injured.  If have kept the family life line intact, rest assured that your parents and people will definitely come to your rescue, howsoever you may have hurt them by your attitude, arrogance and adamant behaviour in the past.

Parents today are no more as rigid as in the past and often quite amenable to adopting new views and act on them. If they still resist some action on their grown up children, it is either due to some compulsions of the community in which they are living are due to their foreseeting the likely harmful effect to their beloved children in the near and distant future.

Many youths think that they do not need anybody to help them.  They have good neighbours, friends and money which will see them through all adversities.  No doubt, neighbours, friends and colleagues are of great value and help as they are the closest, but at the same time you have to maintain good relationship with parents.

Money is a great mover and most of the requirements can be catered to with money.  But these do not fill the void created by distancing yourself from your parents and other family members.

How To Stop Bed Wetting In Children - The Causes Of Bed Wetting

Bed wetting or enuresis is common much guarded problem which effects boys more than girls.  It is true that most youngesters grow out of it, but you can help matters by consulting a doctor who can rule out any pathological  reasons.  Usually, these children are highstrung or stressed.  


If there is nothing physically amiss, try to relax before bedtime.  Avoid drinking liquids for at least 3 hours before sleeping.  Keep an alarm clock to awaken to twice in the night so that you can go to the toilet.  There are special alarm systems availble which will awaken you as soon as you begin to wet the bed.  Constant arousal will soon get you to recognise bladder fullness even in sleep.


During the day try to control a full bladder for long periods of time to strengthen the voiding sphincter.  Your family doctor will be able to advice and monitor your problem very efficiently.


Stress in you children can also be on of the causes for bed wetting.  So find out the reasons for stress in you child.  If parents are heading for a divorce or you are going to a new place permanently.  Shifting your child to a new school may also cause stress in your child.

You have to pay special attention towards your child if you find stress is the reason behind your children's bed wetting problem.  You should not punish or scold your child when he or she troubles you on small issues otherwise , this may further add to the stress in your child.  Being a parent, you have to realise that bed wetting is a common problem that comes involunterily in children and parents have to extend their best help in treating this problem.  As a last option you can also take him to a qualified counselor to find out a better solution.

An Overview Of Four Basic Parenting Styles

Experts identify that there are four basic parenting styles. These styles are known as , “authoritative”,  “authoritarian” , “neglectful” and “permissive”.  There are important differences between each of these styles, and there is one style considered ideal above all the others. We’ll review each one individually now.

AUTHORITATIVE

This type of parent holds high expectations of the child’s behavior while allowing an open dialogue with the child about those expectations. Rules imposed on the child are fair and expressed clearly. The authoritative parent teaches the child about cause and effect, decision-making and self-sufficiency.  Children raised in an authoritative environment have more self-confidence and initiative, are liked and respected by their peers and will be generally well-rounded adults.  

AUTHORITARIAN

The authoritarian style of parenting is the ‘old, stereotypical style best described in phrases like “children should be seen and not heard” and “spare the rod, spoil the child.” Authoritarian parents expect a high degree of conformity and compliance from their children, and are more likely to use corporal punishment as discipline. The problem with authoritarian parenting is that the ‘rules’ often change at the parent’s whim, so the child never truly know what is expected. One could describe the situation as ‘unfair’ and threatening.

Many children raised by authoritarian parents live in a constant state of fear. They tend to display less self-confidence and are socially withdrawn.

NEGLECTFUL

Neglectful parenting is best described as a step beyond “permissive” parenting. The neglectful parent may provide food and shelter, but is generally emotionally uninvolved in the child’s life.  A good example of this would be parents who never ask their child questions about their day, their friends, homework, etc.. A neglected child may have serious issues going on outside the home, but the neglectful parent is never aware of them until something potentially tragic occurs.

PERMISSIVE

Permissive parenting is typically characterized by a warm, loving relationship between parent and child, but is flawed by low expectations of behavior. In other words, the permissive parent is usually afraid to make demands on the child much less hold him to any standard. Children raised by overly permissive parents tend to suffer from a lack of focus, immaturity and problems with emotional regulation.

Out of the four basic parenting styles, the authoritative style is considered ideal. 

What Is Primary Complex And How It Is Diagnosed ?

Primary complex is an infection due to the tuberculosis bacteria. They can lodge in any part of the body. The tissues respond by accumulating white blood cells at the site of primary infection which is now called the primary focus. The tubercle bacilli from the primary focus are transported along the lymphatics to the regional draining lymph nodes, causing an inflammatory response as a result of which the lymph nodes enlarge. After a while the lymph nodes liquefy in the centre leading to the production of a thick white cheesy material.

These days the primary focus is usually diagnosed before this occurs. Any suspiciously enlarged, painless lymph nodes, especially if they are matted together are suspicious of a primary focus. These are subjected to FNAC (fine needle aspiration biopsy), the material obtained is sent for histopathological examination and the diagnosis confirmed. You will need anti-tubercular medication for at least a year. When the full treatment course is completed, you should be completely cured.  However, it is possible that at a larger stage, the primary complex may get reactivated if your general level of health or immunity were to decline for some reason.

Is It Safe Using Drugs While Breast Feeding ?

Though most drugs enter breast milk, there is hardly any effect on the baby. This is because firstly the drug is diluted in a mother's body; further dilution occurs in breast milk after which only a fraction of the drug will be absorbed by the baby's intestines and only part of this drug will be free to act on the baby directly.

However, there are certain drugs that are absolutely prohibited during breast feeding. These include anticancer drugs, radioactive substances, etc. Aspirin, tetracycline, chloromphenicol and long-acting sedatives and tranquillisers are relatively contraindicated while breastfeeding.

How To Tackle Your Child's Biased Teacher

If you suspect that your child's teacher is biased and is treating your ward unjustly out of spite, what do you do? Do you straight away have a face-to-face confrontation or do you try and find reason behind the teacher's behaviour? Some times it is a better option to check some facts and make it clear whether the teacher is actually biased or there is a miscommunication between your child and the teacher before pulling the teacher up.

As parents our first reaction if our child complains about his teacher is to believe our child. For instance, if your son says that there was no error in his recitation yet the teacher gave him less marks, you give your son full benefit. Similarly when he says that he was left out of the drama because the teacher is biased, you sympathise with him. While it is important to hear the children out it is also equally important to find the reason for the teacher's behaviour.

To come up with a clear perspective, here are some questions you need to ask your child. Take, for instance that your child is left out of the drama.

1) How many children were selected? if your child is omitted, that might be because he was not
suitable to play the role of a certain character.

2) Is your child involved in some other activity, maybe a dance or a song? if so, then you have
no reason for doubt. It may be that your child was interested in doing the drama and since he
did not get a chance, he feels the teacher is partial.

Why do children feel their teacher is biased?

There are a number of reasons why students feel that their teacher is biased. Check some of the facts listed below:

The teacher scolds the student often.

Despite doing well the student's effort is not praised.

The teacher complains about the student to the parents.

The student feels ignored when the teacher pays more attention to
weaker students.

If the student has been a favourite with the previous teacher and this class teacher doesnot
show him the priority, he gets the impression that his teacher is biased.

If he is pampered at home, it is natural to expect his teacher to treat him with the same
affection and overlook his mistakes.

He is finding his lessons tough and by portraying his teacher as prejudiced he puts the onus
of falling grades on the teacher.

While these could be some common reasons why children blame their teachers and convince their parents that their teacher is a villain, there are some genuine cases when teachers are actually biased and if this problem is not sorted out your child could be the sufferer for a whole year.

Like almost every human being, teachers too have their own favourites and if your child is not the lucky one you have reason to be miffed. But when simple favouritism becomes damaging to other students progress and peersonality development its time parents stepped in and sought a solution.

Is the teacher actually biased:

By following your child's progress, it is easy to assess whether your child's being targetted or not. A suddesn decline in the grades is the first sign. Show genuine concern in trying to find the reason. Be responsitve if the teacher provides a reason. Make her provide the solution and show her respect because teachers are thirsty for recognition. Maker her feel how important is her role is in your child's future and she might realise her responsibility and resolve her grudge against your child.

If the matter is not settled, you can take up with principal but ensure that you have all the evidence in your hand. Suggest shifting of your child to another section. Unless your child is really suffering you should not change the school, else your child will get the feeling that you will always bail him out of a tough situation, and he will stop adjusting.

If you are still not convinced, go for a change of school because this can affect the whole outook of your child's school life from a harrowing experience to a memorable one.

How To Tackle Speech Problems In Yound Children

Some children do start speaking late, especially if delay in the onset of speech runs in your family or that of your husband for, in quite a few cases it is hereditary. Another reason for this delay in speech could be that he is not spoken to often enough.  For example, if he is the only child in a nuclear family and you are a working couple. So either talk to him as often and as much as possible or see to it that he interacts with other children in the neighbourhood. Try to spend more time with him and have meaningful conversation.  He will slowly show signs of improvement in his speech.  After a few months, there will be a faster and greater improvement in his speech.

If your child still having speech problems and speaking like a small child, he has to go through all the stages a child has to go through while learning to speak. Do not worry - he will pick up soon enough though it is worthwhile to get him checked by and ENT specialist and a speech therapist.

Learn Parenting Techniques On How To Control Your Child Surfing Internet

There is a condition called the 'internet addiction syndrome' that has come up in recent years. Surfing the nets, chatting, watching porn sites has become a major socio-psychological problem. Being a parent you should know right parenting techniques to tackle this problem.

It is not good even for an adult, leave alone a child, to spend so much time continuously at the computer. Dark circles will soon be the least problems. As times goes by, he will suffer from dryness of eyes and pain in the back and neck. So, please see to it that he gets out of the habit fast.

You have to deal with this issue strictly but not to hurt the child at once, but you will have to be firm with him however much he resists. Allot a fixed time for the internet. Keep the computer in a common living area so that he cannot sneakily go to objectionable sites. See to it that he does not visit cyber cafes or bunk classes in school to go to the computer room. Rope in the help of his  teacher to get him on track. See to it that he does some sort of physical exercise for atleast half an hour in a day. Give him a  healthy, balanced and nutritious diet. Regulate his sleeping habits.   But remember what ever bad habits a child has, are to be corrected at an early stage, don't neglect your child showing the reason that you are too busy with your work.  First try these parenting techniques, if all fails then take him to a psychiatrist.

How To Get Rid Of Bad Breath - Bad Breath Remedies For Parents

Bad breath is a very common problem. People may avoid persons having bad breath, even divorce can occur. Many toothpastes and mouthwashes are available which claim to keep the mouth fresh and smelling good. Untill the cause is removed, these bad breath remedies are ineffective. Bad breath, medically called halitosis, may be bacause of many causes.

Causes of bad breath :

Many foods and drinks such as onion, garlic, cheese and alcohol can cause temporary unfavourable smell in the mouth. Use of cigarette, tobacco, gutkha, and alcohol has the same result.

The most common reasons for bad breath are diseases of teeth and gums. If teeth are not cleaned properly, the bacteria feast on food particles entangled between the teeth producing smelly gases.

Various diseases of the mouth, gums, teeth, tonsils, adenoid diseases, sinusitis can also cause bad breath. Children suffering with any or some of these problems will have bad breath problems.

Hyperacidity, gastric oesophageal reflex disease(GERD), oesophageal diseases can cause the problem of bad breath. Many lung diseases cause bad breath.

In diabetics, if not controlled, can cause the production of acetone, which causes a fruity smell, disagreeable to many.  Liver and kidney diseases can cause bad breath.

Certain drugs can also lead to bad breath.

Bad breath remedies :

Bad breath is a social stigma and particularly children must take care of mouth hygiene to get rid  of it to avoid problem in future. In most children, it is the result of bad habits. By changing habits one can get rid of bad breath.

Drink plenty of water as deficiency of water can lead to a foul smell from the mouth. Parents should teach their children the importantce of drinking more water.

The mouth should be rinsed vigorously after every meal, even after snacks.

Teeth must be brushed in the proper way for at least three minutes in the morning and before retiring to bed. Better, they should be brushed after every meal and gums should be massaged. Proper brushing and massage keep teeth and gums healthy and prevent bad breath.

The tongue should be cleaned after meals by a tongue cleaner.

Dental floss and stimulation, if done regularly, cleans the germ pockets harbouring between the teeth.

After meals, they can be rinsed with antiseptic mouthwash to keep the mouth healthy.

Do not consume tobacco, gutkha, cigarettes or alcohol. They are harmful to the teeth and gums and even increase the risk of many serious diseases and cancer.

If suffering from tonsillitis, adenoid inflammation sinusitis, these should be treated properly.

Gastric acidity and gerd are common causes of bad breath. If one is suffering from these or other diseases, these should be properly and adequately treated.

Bad breath remedies include taking care of mouth hygiene and  neglecting it, may be responsible for embarrassment. spare a few minutes for mouth and teeth care to get rid of it.

Realise The Potential Of Your Baby Genius With A Brain Full Of Connected Neurons

Yes, You can have a baby genius in your home. He has a brain which is very similar to the brain of a genious since all brains have about a million neurons.  But if this is so, why do some people grow up to be geniuses while others do not? The answer lies in neuron connectivity. When the brains of baby genius were studied, it was seen that there was more connectivity between the neurons in their brains than in the brains of non-geniuses.

Are you feeling disappointed and saying that this then is the crux of the matter? Genius is a matter of neuron connectivity and that is something genetic? Well, it may be genetic, but connectivity is also something that can be brought about and the earlier you start doing it for your child, the better.

You cannot wait till your child goes to school because the child goes to school because the child learns the most by the time he is four or five and besides, our educational system "degeniuses" kids.  So one has to be innovative in producting a baby genius.

But first, a bit of information about the human brain and neuroscience which studies it.

"The last couple of decades have seen giant steps being taken in the field of neuroscience,".  Research has shown that foetuses can learn that values can be inculcated in unborn infants. But most research in neuroscience  has moved from that point in the direction of  studying the medical significance of these discoveries and the treatmentof genetic and neurological problems.

But there is another equally exciting aspect of this research, a proactive  way of using the knowledge that neurological research has given us, in the field of education. Yes, it is possible to educate foetuses and infants if he understand the word 'education' in the widest and truest sense of the word.

We have known for some time now that most learning takes plays before a child is 4 or 5, but now we also know  that we can start very early - in the prenatal stage.  This because we have proof that what the foetus goes through shapes its personality and brain.  Another exiting point is that most of this early learning that we can help the infant and small child to gain is right-brain learning, something that is badly neglected by our educational system which concentrates mainly on left brain learning.

However parents should not show anxiety and constantly test the child.  They should not have unrealistic expectations either and think that their child will be as brilliant as Einstein by five.  All children do not learn at the same pace and genetics also definitely plays a part in the development and final levels reached by a child. But there is always a chance that your can make a baby genius.

Parenting Teenagers - Does Your Boy Or Girl Have Mood Swings?

Teenage is a complex period of transition and mood swings are normal.  Parenting teenagers is a difficult task. concerns about identity, free atmosphere of the college, sudden change in whole outlook, worries about appearance and friendship are just some of the things that grip teenagers. Add to this, the ebb and flow of harmones. All these factors result in an unpredictable mixture of moods; happy and outgoing one day, glum and depressing the next.

The teenage is the most turbulent stage of any one's life, this is the age when all the physical, hormonal and emotional changes take place and during this stageif he or she is not getting proper attention and guidance ot can lead to emotional imbalance and can have Mood swings.

Teenage is the most crucial age because at this age children are neither young nor adult. In this age they have many physical, psychological, emotional changes in their body which they are also not able to recognise and understand them resulting  mood swings which is a normal phenemena. At this age their behaviour pattern also changes.

Mood swings are defined as uncertainity between elation and degection. Extremes and predominate with the more moderate variations in between almost completely absent. Most researchers agree that it is a combination of biological and emotional factors that affect a teenager's mood.  There is another aspect to be looked into between 16 to 19 years of age when one can show the symptoms of mood swings (bi-polar disorder) if he has the genetic loading from his parents and grandparents of the same type of illness.  They need to be given proper attention and treatment if they require, after consultation from the psychologist/psychiatrist.

If your teenager or daughter starts having mood swings and stays out late, they it could very well be a sign that your daughter or son is in love. Swiss researchers  at the  Psychiatric university clinics found that teen sin the early stage intense romantic love were more prone to mood swings.  Parenting Teenager is a sensitive task and one should to know how to tackle it.

Parents Role:

First thing parents need to remember is that mood swings are part of the course with teens.  The challenge is to know when they need to be tolerant and when there is a real problem that needs attention Counsellor Harman Saini believes that parenting teenager in this condition is very important. He suggests,  "they should spend more time with their children, understand their anxiety with patience and wisdom, and need to have one to one dialogue with open mind without rejecting their ideas".

As adults, we need to set examples before the adolescents.  So it will not be wise to treat them with "tit for tat" policy.  Be like water and learn to flow with them.  Reinforce the right behaviour and refrain from commenting on the undesired behaviour.

The adolescent knows what is right and what is not.  They love to learn form experiment.  So give them freedom to discuss their experiences.  Remember that it is their temporary phase, so be wise in parenting teenagers.  

The Problem Of Constipation In Children And How To Avoid It

If you think that constipation in children simply because he has infrequent stools, in that case you better think again. Having infrequent stools does not really mean constipation although this problem is characterized by irregular bowel movement.

Constipation in children is a consequence of a deficient and unsuitable diet, insufficient intake of fluids or a problematic colon. Children who take in too much refined food or food without fibre generally suffer with constipation.

So how does one know when a kid has constipation? A kid may well have constipation if he has very dry and difficult stools or if he puts extra efforts to send his stools. A person's solid waste passes through the colon which is normally consists of some water that is inside the stool. However, when the colon is not functioning well, it may remove too much of the water in the feces resulting to very dry and rigid stool, thus resulting in constipation.

In plain words, constipation occur once the body's solid waste stay in the colon, thus extracting more fecal stool than what is needed. This happens when a person's colon has smaller movement as a result of a diet that does not appropriately stimulate the colon to do its usual function. Constipation also occurs when there is a barrier in the  tract as when there are problems with the anus or a tumor blockage.

Babies, especially those who are breast-fed, do not really experience constipation because the baby absorbs nearly all of the milk and there is not much residue left. Infants naturally discharge their waste less often but it does not mean they are constipated. However, when they are about to to get their feces off, they generally do it with a lot of grunting and forcing. This must not worry parents though since it is natural as the baby�s anus may still be a little taut and needs extra stretching prior to the stool can be released.

It is a diverse story though for formula fed babies who can get constipated due to the milk residue in the colon. When these infants become toddlers and given a additional solid diet later on, then they can be further prone to getting constipation.

For babies with really packed anus and who repeatedly experiences irritation when passing stool, it is best to have a rectal examination by a trusted doctor to make sure there is no obstruction in the anus.

So how is constipation in children treated? One way of avoiding and treating child constipation is to improve his diet which is rich in fruits and nuts. Teach them good food habits so that as they growup they will not attract much towards junk food.

There are mothers and even doctors who suggest drinking plenty of water daily right from childhood is good to stay away from constipation throught the life. The intake of fruit juices like apple or banana may perhaps also help in loosening the stool.

Always seek your pediatricians advice if you notice such problems.

Health And Physical Fitness: Are You Kidding Yourself About Your Child's Health And Physical Fitness

I'm not surprised so many kids today are unfit. Todays parents do not realizing the importance of child's health and physical fitness. There are a lot of incentives for them to stay indoors. When I was young we would get home from school and after tea, for much of the year we would be off outside to play untill it got dark. Now, thanks to a combination of  feeling it is unsafe to let kids out alone, and the lure of computer games and TV, it seems more attractive to stay in.

Yet parents are fooling themselves about how much exercise their kids get.  A study by the British Heart Foundation found three quarters of parents thought their children were active enough but it turned out only one in 10 kids did the recommended hour of daily activity to improve health and physical fitness.

This is setting them up for a lifetime of weight and health problems.  As parents we need to be honest with ourselves about whether our kids are as fit as they should be, then do something about it.

Some children are not as sporty as others and should not be pushed into it.  It is far bettter to spend time trying different activities with your children to see what motivates them.

If them are into nature, got them for a walk around a local farm or zoo.  Set a time limit on how long they sit in front of the TV or computer. One hour a day is plenty until age 10, moving towards two hours as they hit their teens.  Once screen time is over, encourage them to paly outside or take them for a walk.

If your kids are moderately active, ie., are doing some exercise but you need to find ways to include more in their day if want them to stay slim and healthy.  Reseach shows good habits made now last a life time.

If always ferry your kids to school or drive every where at weekends, think about leaving the car at home.
As long as it is not far, walking or cycling benefits you both and saves money.

Encourage them to join just one after school club if they don't belong to any so, rather than flopping in front of the TV, they can have fun with friends, playing football, tennis or swimming.

If you have superfit kids, your familiy are really active and enjoy the fun and extra energy that goes with this life style. You set a good example by keeping fit.

Keep up the good work, but make sure they get down time at home too, as kids need to learn to relax and do nothing from time to time. And the odd pizza or chocolate bar won't hurt as long as they are eating well most of the time.

Conclusion: As parents we need to be honest with ourselves about whether our kids are as fit as they should be and do something about it. We should strive for good health and physical fitness for our children.

Benefits Of Baby Massage And The Right Way Of Doing It

Research has shown that regular baby massage benefits the growth and development of the baby. It moisturises the skin and scalp, promotes mother-child bonding and baby massage enhances the psychological well-being of the child.

You could begin by massaging the scalp with a mild oil and then move over to the rest of the body. Rub some oil between your palms, hold the baby's foot with one hand and move the other hand from his buttocks to his foot. Follow the same motion with the other hand. Alternate both hands in this way, taking care not to squeeze the leg. Repeat this motion in the reverse. You can flex and relax the foot and roll the baby's leg between both hands. Repeat with the other leg.

Now, place both your hands in the centre of his chest and move them outwards around his chest. Next, place one hand on his belly button and move it gently downwards. Follow with the other hand. For the arms, place both hands on the centre of the baby's rib cage and move them outwards over his shoulders,upper, lower arms and hands in one smooth motion.

As for his face, put both your hands on his forehead and slide them down the sodes of his face with your thumbs massaging the sides of his nose. Lastly, make small circular motions over the baby's cheeks in front of the ears, loop around the ears and chin. Baby massage in this way will benefit a lot in overall development of the baby.

The Causes Of Poor Performance Of A Child At Study

The poor performance of a child at study is one of the troubling parenting issues in today's world.

The causes for this problem include:

Defective hearing or vision: If it is there, they must be corrected at the earliest for him/her to improve.

Learning disorders: Dyslexia(difficulty in reading), dysgraphia(difficulty in writing could be a cause which must be looked into and treatment planned accordingly. This type of parenting issues must be addressed at an early stage.

Lack of interest in a subject or the way it is taught. Daydreaming can also disturb with school work.

Insecurity is the most important cause of poor performance in an intelligent child. This may be due to problems at home, fear of the teacher or a bully at school.

Poor concentration which again could be due to low intelligence, boredom or dislike of the subject. On the other hand,it could also be because the child is exceptionally gifted and find the work too easy. Such parenting issues should be handled softly so that the child is not hurt mentally.

Conclusion: The children with poor performance are to be taken to a psychologist to have his IQ tested, an ophthamologist for his vision and ENT specialist to test his hearing and act accordingly.

Tips For Good Child Parenting

With postnatal preparations, you also have to prepare for the arrival of your baby. All throughout the child parenting process, you'll find yourself thinking and even daydreaming about things like wonderful times you will spend with your child, but you have to put that one on hold just for now.

To be able to assist your child in learning how to properly cope up with life and how to face its vicissitudes, you should allow your child parenting skills to kick in and let it guide you on the right path. Being a parent is a life long experience.

As a parent, try to rediscover the inner child in you - to do this, you have to step inside and be in your children shoes. Try to remember what it was like to be a kid again, this process is called as "rediscovering your inner child". You must admit, that we tend to forget how it is to just relax and get stuck with our boring lifestyle and jobs. For you to understand the issues at hand with regards to your children, try putting yourself your children shoes for a change. Try to see things from your children perspective and you'll then gain a realization and a understanding about how they are feeling and why they are rebelling. Good child parenting skills teaches you how to actually listen to your child's needs and not relinquish them, but it is all up to you on how can you stand strong and see the issues in your child's eyes and develop a solution that will please you both.

For sure, we all want our children to have better and happier lives than ours were. Parenting never stops, whether you realized it or not. Parents seeing and watching over the years where his/her child's strikes out their own to become independent and self-aware is incomparable. Always, think before you decide to become a parent. Parenting is nothing but a continuous process.

As young as two years old, a child can start learning to do easy chores. As opposed to other children who have little or no opportunity to be allowed to explore self-reliance, who was never taught to learn that with possession always comes responsibility, and was never allowed to fulfill their very own needs, sadly they tend to acquire a sense of entitlement which obscures their sense of contribution. As a result of your child feeling self-sufficient, they will feel confident enough to rise above any situation. True independence is the only precious gift that you as a parent can actually give to your child.

If your child argues, all you have to do is to repeat that rule over and over, as opposed you starting a debate with your child and as a result of doing this, you will gain more cooperation from your child. By showing your feelings towards your child - Often times when you start to show compassion towards your child and reflecting back what or how they are feeling is helpful for gaining cooperation from your child. Your child is then less likely to oppose if he/she feels that he/she have some control of the situation when trying to gain cooperation by good child parenting.

There, now you can say that being a parent is incomparable. By taking interest, it will definitely encourage your own child to work harder and to maintain good behavior while at school. Do not let fear overcome you, the joyful experience that a child can bring to their parents is enough to pay for all the hardships that you will endure in rearing a good child. We never wanted to stand out like a dweeb or a sore loser to be laughed at.

First, parents should try to rearrange their schedules in order the entire family to sit down for meals even if it's just for one meal out of the week. This is one of the best ways that will help you in good child parenting.

Also, there should be a timeout for issues that have been brought up earlier and the issues should be continued at a later time which is another solution for enjoying stress memories.

Design your dinner table to be a little more festive, avoid the usual setting of a bouquet of flowers.